Learning to dance can be a tough thing. I know it. And I’m not just talking about the steps.

True Story: I am a shy person in real life and was terrified of asking people to dance for a long time. Really, it was a majorly lame, ridiculously epic period of time. I was certain that I was wasting people’s time and potential to have great dances; somehow I knew that everyone else was a pro and they were all in the pro-dancer club. I was no pro. I was a plague of tangled left feet and a destroyer (the bad kind) of dance floors. The ultimate dance-buzz kill. For a while, I couldn’t even quite imagine that it would ever get better. It felt like everybody else was in on some secret. I was very clearly a muggle in a room full of wizards.

Well folks, it turns out the only plague I had was silliness. I fell pray to some fairly common beginner myths. Read on and see if you also have the silliness plague. Don’t worry, it’s curable.

These are four of the most common beginner myths and their explanations.

1. No one wants to dance with me because I’m no good.

Pish posh. Technique and dance knowledge/experience are not prerequisites to fun. Fun is about enjoying a human connection. Sure, it can be achieved through discourse that uses technique and shared experience and culture, but it can also be achieved through the use of simple things like smiles and openness and good ‘ole, genuine attempts (and subsequent mess ups). Experienced dancers aren’t robots; I promise 99.9% of them still like smiling and laughing, even with those who are just starting out. By the by, most people come out social dancing to socialize and have fun and learn something new. They aren’t there to snicker and judge and give out dancing dunce caps.

2. Clearly everyone else here (a) Knows each other already and (b) Has been dancing since fetus-hood.

(a) Most of them met at a dance or in a dance class. Do you know what that means? It means they were all you, just a little while ago. They were you, and somehow they found other yous, who felt just like you, and became friends. Please note, at any given dance, there are probably jillions of you standing right next to you, just sayin.  (b) Most* people at our weekly dances in Philadelphia have been dancing a few months. The instructors, and a solid group of community members have been dancing a few years. There is only a very small population of people who were ‘dancers’ before they started swing dancing, many were other things like athletes or engineers. *Note. I have not done a study, I understand and enjoy employing the vagueness of the word most.

3. I am boring to dance with; I don’t know enough moves.

I know this is a tough subject leads; do me the favor of hearing me out. Moves are not the end. They are not the best thing since sliced bread. Believe it or not, the best part about this dance is that it feels good to do. That said, moves are an important component. They are fun and often challenging and make you feel fluent. Think of the dance as a language (shout out to Nirav Sanghani, who I’m fairly certain I’ve stolen this analogy from). Moves are the words, your vocabulary. Technique is the grammar. Words fall far short of useful if you don’t know how to string them together. You can shout all the best, really complicated ones all day long, and go ahead. But without some kind of grammar, you’ll only seem crazy.

Be happy with your progress, whatever it is. You’ll collect more rules and words if you want to, that can’t be stopped. It happens over time though. For today, if you only know 3 sentences, say those sentences with pride! No need to wait until you’re fluent to enjoy what you’re doing.

Total immersion, baby.

4. There are unspoken rules in play here. The dance floor is partitioned, and it goes like this: good dancers (possibly snooty), decent dancers, beginners, smellys.

This is not a high school lunch room. This is also not the Titanic. No one (that I know of) forms friendships based on mutual disdain for any dancer at a different experience level. This is just dancing and it’s fun. We are all united in the mission to have a great time. I’m not saying that no one will ever decline a dance with you, or that there aren’t some people who can be rude. What I’m saying is that if you don’t take it too seriously, and you give everyone a fair shot (including those more experienced) at being awesome, then you have a pretty good recipe for success.